I have crippling anxiety and it's the opposite of fun.
It's to the point where it is intrusive, slightly delusional, and it interrupts my daily life. I don't know where it comes from but I know I've had it my entire life. When I was little I used to be afraid of butterflies...BUTTERFLIES!!! What child is afraid of butterflies? A little, neurotic, OCD child named Nina.
I know I am anxiety-ridden - a never ending mass of nerves and shakiness. Quite literally, I am always trembling. It's like I have too much inside of me and my body doesn't know what to do with it so I am just shaking all the time.
I'm not saying all of this to make myself out to be some kind of freak. I'm writing this because I know I'm not alone. I know there are others who are neurotic and have anxiety and I know it is a daily struggle.
I'm lying here in bed, my favorite candle burning (White Christmas) and All Sons & Daughters playing to soothe me. It is in this place that I am comforted and peaceful. The lyrics hit me as I stretch out under my covers: