The flexing fingers, the nervous glances and the darting of questions. The dark cloud looming overhead - the nagging in the back of the mind that just won't go away. The perpetual tick-tock-tick-tock until I really, really just want to scream for everyone to CALM DOWN!
That's right. Everyone's in love.
Well, except me.
And that's fine. I'm cool with that. But doesn't it seem like everyone's got a rang on their fanger lately? Love is in the AIR! Like, literally, floating around in little hearts, chubby cherubs pointing their love-filled arrows at people, getting everyone all chummy and cuddly and couple-y.
It's like it almost happened overnight. One day I was a young, carefree gal in college, galavanting around the city streets, relishing in my youth and charm and the next BAM!
I'm 23 years old. Half of my friends are either married, engaged or have boyfriends. People have real jobs. ISH IS GETTIN' REAL!
It's right about to give me a panic attack y'all. Here's the thing: I'm genuinely happy for my friends who are genuinely happy. Love it.
But I also feel a strange pressure not only being single, but being a single Christian female in Los Angeles. I was brought up in a strong, female household. My mom taught my sisters and I from a very young age to be educated, independent and confident. I wouldn't trade this upbringing for the world and it molded me into the delightful lady that I am today. Weeee.
But then I became a Christian. And then I realized people who are Christians get married younnnnggg. And then Pinterest was created and all hell broke loose.
There is a strange pressure in the Christian community to find your spouse before you're 30. I don't know where this comes from or where this anxiety comes from that we'll never meet anyone after 30, but it's there and it's real. You can try to deny it but talk to ANY Christian woman, single or married, and she'll agree. I know she will because I've had this discussion like a BAGILLION TIMES!!!!!! What do you think community group prayer time is for, duh-DOI! Just kidding. Kind of. You be the judge. Wait don't, we're not supposed to judge, DAMMIT I'M THE WORST!
Here's the thing, marriage is so beautiful and so wonderful and I am so happy that I am surrounded by plenty of married women who exhibit what it is to be an amazing wife and woman of God. That is FAB because it's just encouraging me for when the time comes when I DO say "I Do" to Zac Efron and everyone starts crying and we dance out of the reception hall to High School Musical.
But at the same time, I want to enjoy my time being single and I don't want to feel like a freak or gross because I'm not even anywhere CLOSE to dating someone. Just because I'm Christian and single doesn't mean I'm on the prowl for a husband, which I think is a BIG misconception some guys might have about girls. Like, just cause I say hi to you doesn't mean I want you to wife me up boy!
Now you may come at me and be like NINA! YOU ALWAYS TALK ABOUT MARRYING CELEBZ. And yeah, I do, because let's be honest, would YOU deny Andrew Garfield proposing? Um, no, didn't think so.
But the truth of the matter is, and I don't care how cliche it sounds, God teaches us so, SO much through everything we go through. He teaches us through our relationships with other people but also with being alone. There is this entire world out there for us to enjoy - music and art and food and dancing and people and culture. It's vivid and bright and spectacular. I don't want to be the kind of person that misses out on these things just because I'm too worried I might not meet anyone. I so deeply admire women who are fierce and smart and beautiful and kind not because of their relationship status but because of their character and who they are.
I want to lift up my friends who are in relationships because it is so awesome. And I want to lift up my friends who aren't because it is also awesome. EVERYTHING'S JUST AWESOME...hey guys do I sound like a Taylor Swift song yet? I digress.
Let's be thankful for where we are right now! Because this is what we HAVE right now and it is a gift! And who doesn't love GIFTS ya big lugs!!?
xoxoox gossip girl
google image: stressing out....kittttyyy!!!!