Tuesday, October 30, 2012

i like the feeling


I like the feeling I get after being in the wind all day - that slightly fresh feeling where your cheeks are aching and rosy and all you can think about is cuddling in bed and watching a good movie and maybe drinking some tea. 

I like the feeling of holding a fresh pizza on my lap as we drive home. Like when I was ten and it was a big deal to order out - especially for a chubby ten year old like me who had obscenely curly hair and didn't even know I was chubby and all I could think about was how delicious that pizza was going to taste and it didn't matter about the calories and it didn't matter that I wasn't tiny. All that mattered was I was gonna eat PIZZA and pizza's really one of the greatest things in the whole wide world.

I like the feeling I get when three great songs come on in a row at the same time on the radio. It's like hitting the lottery (a very small lottery) over and over again. My fingers find their way over to the button and my windows go down and the wind whips my hair and the guy in the car next to me shoots me an annoyed glance. When they're really good songs I imagine I'm in a montage of some kind of indie movie and it's hilarious because I know I'm not the only one who does it (YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHEN YOU HEAR A BANJO STRUMMING YOU DON'T PICTURE YOURSELF IN THE COOLEST MOVIE MONTAGE EVER AND YOU'RE RUNNING ALONG A DIRT ROAD BECAUSE YOUR CAR BROKE DOWN AND THE SUN IS SETTING AND IT IS ENTIRELY TOO EPIC ). 

I like the feeling of laughing so hard you almost pee your pants. Coincidentally, I also really like the feeling of saying the word "pee" out loud and making people uncomfortable. It's that feeling (back to the laughter) when you can't stop - when you screw up your eyes and bite down on your tongue and try to think of the most depressing thought and then your shoulders start to quiver and you hear your friend's tiny peals of laughter and then you just lose it. Your throat hurts and your belly aches and the tears are streaming and afterward you feel like you could jump up on the moon.

I like the feeling of holding a baby. It's simple and perfect and tiny. 

I like the feeling after I finish reading a good book. I like feeling like I know the characters and I care about them so much and it's so sad when you finish reading - it's the kind of sad that is both good and hard at the same time. 

I like the feeling of knowing God. Because it's more than a feeling. It's deep within me, it's the constant hum-hum-drum of life's pattern. It's as true inside of me as the air in my lungs. It's the feeling I get when I am so blind-sided by His love that it brings me to my knees. When I realize how worthless everything is without Him. It's that feeling when you see people through the eyes of God - you see they were crafted in a way only something greater could have created. Something not of this world. Something so much bigger. 
I think that feeling is the best kinda feeling there is.








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