Sunday, May 20, 2012

Frequently Asked Questions That No One Ever Asks Me Part II

Here are some more frequently asked questions that no one ever asks me....ENJOY!!!!!!!!

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F.A.Q.   T.N.O.E.A.M. P. II.

You're so good at being unable to control giggling in awkward situations. What's your secret?

The key is having the opposite of self-control and the maturity of a ten year old! So when you have to speak in front of a lot of people and all of a sudden you can't stop laughing, just indulge in it! You'll be the coolest gal around. AND THAT'S A PROMISE!

How do you find time to tweet as much as you do?

It's super easy and takes a certain level of social detachment, but I believe with the right amount of social networking addiction, anyone can do it! I like to tweet all the time. I feel that tweeting what's happening instead of actually experiencing what's happening gives me an elevated sense of humanity. I also like saying phrases like "elevated sense of humanity" to mask the fact that I don't really know what that means. 

You're always so scatterbrained and frantic! How do you manage to get through....life, well, in general?

 I like to think of my nervous ticks as "endearing" rather than just "end" "dearing" which I would interpret to mean so strange they would end a dear's life. Like, isn't it SO cute when I drop all my belongings because all of a sudden my hands stopped working? Or how just ADORABLE is it when I spaz because I think a bee is in my unusually large hair? See?!?! It's just so great.

Sometimes you just eat so much for a girl!!!

.....Ummmm.

Celebrity you want to spoon with?

Notorious B.I.G. DON'T EVEN TRY TO TELL ME HE WOULDN'T BE THE GREATEST BIG SPOON EVER.

What's your advice for young girls like you, who spend way too much time listening to the Newsies Broadway soundtrack while grappling with the reality that in fact, they'll never be Beyonce?

I'd say never is a strong word! There's nothing wrong with jamming out to some badass harmonies. And you know what? Sure, I'm not Beyonce but I am working on my hair flip and dance moves and pretty soon no one will know the difference between Beyonce and myself. Not even Jay-Z. Watch out Hove, I'm comin' for ya.

One Direction or Justin Bieber?

How can you ask such a cruel question.

Best way to make people think you care about the real news and not gossip websites?

Good question! Make sure you follow things like Drudge Report, NY Times, Huff Post, Politico on twitter and retweet something every once in awhile. Voila! You might as well have minored in Political Science for all anybody knows. Bwhahaha.

One last parting question. When you're having a bad day, what's your go-to pick me up?

I just remind myself I'm not responsible for the Twilight franchise and I feel SO much better. Also, emotionally eating is great and super mentally healthy, probably, I think.

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For Frequently Asked Questions That No One Ever Asks Me Part I, ch-ch-check it out:




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