Saturday, January 14, 2012


Sometimes it's easy to forget that butterflies-falling-in-love feeling I had when I first met Jesus Christ. OH SNAP DID I JUST GET REAL ON THIS BLOG? Hellz yeah.

But seriously. I find my identity in the Lord. Before anything else--before making people laugh, writing, performing, being a daughter or a sister or a friend, I am a daughter of the King. That is so important to remember. I found this poem I wrote pretty early on in my relationship with the Lord. I remember how on fire I was all the time for God because His love overwhelmed me. I want that now, I pray for that everyday. This is called Warmth. 

* * * 
This pain that's resounding
In my heart it's drowning
A thorn of redemption
caught in high tension,
with the woman I am and the woman I know I should be.

Why when your love is cascading
I feel like I'm fading?
Far from the shore that I thought promised more
This seed of doubt's growing
It's knowing and blowing
but hell if I'm going
to the place I just mentioned
and despite all the failure
The part where I wail here
I'll toss it off lightly, embrace and despite me
Because I...I know the truth.

In this coldness is boldness,
a river flowing down
Feel the petals of Grace
it's more than profound.
For when I doubt you I bow to
the enemy himself
It's childish I've lied to this
broken creed of hate
Because I know you're the way
I know you're my fate

Your beauty is soothing as it wraps around my core
It's romancing I'm glancing back to that shore
Because the warmth of your light is blinding my eyes
As it severs and vanishes these cheap petty lies

But Lord catch me, Lord bet me
You'll know I'll return
Your roots make me strong
You whisper to learn

It's the crossroads I'm caught in
The enemy I've bought in
Damn his seduction, his tempting corruption
How far can I go
before I realize, before I paint skies of darkness and low
and behold your strength pouring out.
Like water, I feel taller, and down with the doubt.

Romance and entrance me
break free and perchance see
that you love me you want me
In my simplest form
you knit me with Grace yet still I'm not sure

The ground underneath me is quaking it's frail,
this rock is a pebble, this rain turned to hail

Your melodies are fluidity
The devil's just cheap humidity
but you're the summer heat serenity
with Grace you've more than lent to me

I take you for granted
I curse and despise you
but your love's firmly planted
I'm pissed, why can't mine too?

I break free from the path I know I must walk
It comes down to courage not simply cheap talk
to trust in the beauty you've painted for me
to see objectively that you really died FOR ME

So as I'm doused in cold water
the world generously supplies
as I tread into darkness and honey dipped lies

I think of your face and I can only bow
to the breathtaking light that comes to me now

So forgive me permit me to walk in that light
To plant such a firmness to take such delight
In the freedom, His kingdom
I run to your arms
Though I'm cold far from bold
I absorb all your warmth.

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