Monday, December 19, 2011

stop it booty! (the blessing and the curse of LOVING TO DANCE ALL THE TIME)

I am in a constant battle of whether to refrain from dancing or not. It's pretty stressful. I actually have no control over my limbs when I hear a beat come on - this is how it has been my entire life. I think it's pretty safe to say, and I believe my friends would agree, that I am the opposite of a wallflower. Of course, I'd love to think of myself as that delicate, ethereal creature that floats into a party and the sea of bodies part and I'm all big-eyed and all the guys in the room are like, "Oooh, who's that, she's so quiet and beautiful and mysterious, SHE'S SO COOL!" And I'm wearing tights and like, a flower headband......

Basically this:

Aloof, but not TOO aloof where people wonder if I have a vague social disability....Quiet, cool, a walkman in my purse with an old CD of The Smiths....

I digress.

So we can all agree that in my head I wish I was the aforementioned person, but in actuality I am this person:

Elaine, I completely feel you homegirl.

I like to think of my personality as endearing rather than annoying. I prefer to not know what other people think because then I will just want to hole myself up in my bedroom and watch Arrested Development all night wondering if I'm the Buster of my own which case, it might be kind of cool to have a hook for a hand....


I know dancing is supposed to be something you do in a particular a wedding reception, in a club or bar, with friends....but sometimes IT'S REALLY HARD NOT TO DO IT. Maybe it's my Puerto Rican genes. Maybe it's my dramatic nature. Maybe it's the fact that it is SO FUN. All I'm saying is, I think spontaneous dancing should occur more often and be totally normal. I'm not talking this flash-mob business. Flash mobs are like the first season of Glee. It started out so good and had so much potential and then all of a sudden everyone was doing it and it got real tacky and real weird REAL fast. (So many people are glaring at me right now. WELL GLARE AWAY!)

I just think I have the right to do the worm in the middle of work if a good song comes on and NOT be classified as a psycho. Also, if anyone reading this feels similar, I encourage us to not over analyze ourselves. For instance, I have this terrible habit of having a really great time somewhere, coming home, laying in bed and freaking out because I suddenly think all these bizarre thoughts like, "EVERYONE THINKS I'M OBNOXIOUS DAMMIT WHY DIDNT I JUST SIT ON THE COUCH AND MAKE MY EYES BIG AND GIGGLE QUIETLY? WHY DID I HAVE TO DO MY 'CREEPY OLD MAN DANCE' AND PRETEND TO SMOKE A CIGARETTE AND CALL EVERYONE A BIG LUG?'"

I know I can't be the only one who does this. Obviously, I think self-awareness is important. And I think everyone naturally over-analyzes their actions. I just think we shouldn't beat ourselves up over it, yanno? And if you're reading this and you can relate, just know I TOTALLY support talking in strange voices and pretending to smoke cigars. Pretend puff away.

So this is to all my homies out there who have no control over your limbs once you hear that song come on. And yes, to all you haters, we might be a bit obnoxious. But can I just say how freaking AWESOME my wedding reception is going to be? There will be no tables. Just one giant dance floor and everyone will have to eat their meal while dancing. And if you stop I throw you out because I'll be the bride and I CAN!

On that note, I'm going to go smell my delicious Yankee candle and listen to Nicki Minaj.

I see you girl.


  1. hilarous! love it. you are not alone.

  2. Spontaneous dancing should most definitely happen more often.

  3. Word! Love you cuz!! I want to live your life. . . Mine is no good right now I must admit.