Friday, December 23, 2011

pretty Asian girls are the bane of my existence (and other ramblings while I wait for my laundry to finish)

Pretty Asian girls have this amazing power to make me feel like the bulliest bull of a girl. Especially when they creep up in unsuspecting places like, let's say, 7-freaking-Eleven. Can I just say that when I walk into  7-Eleven, I believe I have the right to show up as frumpy and "I just rolled out of bed" as I want? It's totally unfair to be standing in line, my hair askew, just trying to buy my way overpriced laundry detergent because I'm too lazy to walk to the grocery store, and come face to face with a pretty Asian girl with an amazing body. Oh, how I envy you! You, with your beautiful hair and work-out clothes and buying two large water bottles! I glare at my own purchases--cheap laundry detergent and 2-for-1 pretzels and I immediately wonder how my life got to this.


I just think that life would be a little better if we all just cuddled in a warm heap of friendship like they do in Where The Wild Things Are.
Which brings me to my next point: If you don't like cuddling, I just don't know if I can trust you. Cuddling is the single greatest friendship thing in the entire world! See, this is why I need a kitten. I was thinking about it the other night as I lay in bed, dozing in and out of consciousness. I just need a kitten to cuddle with me. DON'T JUDGE I DON'T CARE IF I'M A CAT LADY IT IS WHAT IT IS.

  Google image: Cat Lady. OF COURSE A PRETTY ASIAN WOMAN. ....I'm cursed.


Y'all, I don't know what to do about my love of vulgar rap. I think if someone were to look at my Spotify history, they would think I was on crack. I go from listening to Sufjan to Nicki Minaj and Childish Gambino. I don't know what to do with myself :-/ Which brings me to my next point:

I just think Nicki Minaj would throw me the most bangin' bachelorette party ever. I think there'd definitely be a lot of sparkles, crazy dancing and wigs. WHAT ELSE WOULD A GAL WANT IN HER BACHELORETTE PARTY?!

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I think, if I could just levitate a half inch off the ground, my life would be so much easier. Especially since I don't have a car. It'd be so nice to just glide everywhere, but it looks like I'm actually walking.

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Well, my laundry is done.

1 comment:

  1. This post made me laugh. You're so adorable! I'm an asian girl, and by no means do I think I am prettier than any girl. I think that in any situation in which I am feeling particularly frumpy, any girl would make me feel like a sack of potatoes. So don't worry, as an asian girl, I can attest that we really don't have some secret scheme of trying to come off as better looking than anyone else. :)

    I found you on 20SB, and I'm excited to read more of your hilarious posts! :D