Thursday, December 8, 2011

I'm single and ready to.......DO THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF MINGLE I JUST WANNA CUDDLE UNDER MY BLANKET AND READ HARRY POTTER

I don't care if you are the smartest, most independent, wittiest girl out there--we all fall short sometimes. And we all trick ourselves into thinking guys are interested in us when they plainly aren't. Why does this happen? It's bizarre! It's amazing! IT NEEDS TO STOP. Listen, I'm not in any way shape or form trying to write an advice column for single ladies. That's what Erin Foster over at HelloGiggles Single Girls Guide is for. (It's a really awesome series & really practical and funny and honest and brutal. Love it) I'm just writing from a place that I know of - myself. Today it hit me....I constantly talk about how I don't need a man to make me happy, how I'm not one of those girls who reads too deeply into things and gets ahead of myself--but guys, I really am. I don't care if I don't throw myself at men or whatever, I can still think in ways that are completely ridiculous. I'm just doing it on a smaller scale. 

I know we've heard it thousands of times before: If a guy likes you, you'll know it. He'll ask you out. He'll make it happen. Didn't we learn anything from Gigi?


Oh Lord, what a cringe-worthy moment! ECH! 

Why is it so easy to trick ourselves into thinking someone likes us? Or why is it so easy to see through a specific lens? It's so frustrating, on both ends. I've been on the other end too, where someone thinks you like them and you just want to grab them by the collar and be like come on DUDE get with it. If I liked you, I would have told you. But it sucks even more to be on the other end and you know what's the worst? When you have that a-ha! moment. That moment when you wake up and realize, "Gosh. I'm not special to him at all. What the HECK have I been thinking?"

But it's also a really good moment. It's healthy. It needs to come sooner. 

Sadly, friends don't really help us out here. More often than not our friends are the ones who plant these little seeds in our brain. In college, I was convinced this one guy liked me only because all of my friends kept telling me he did. I didn't even originally like him, but because I thought he liked me, THEN I started to like him. Yes, that's probably messed up, but I'm just being honest guys, goodness. And it grew to me having actual feelings toward him and guess what happened? NOTHING. He got a girlfriend and I got a nice dose of a reality check. I just wonder what would happen if friends were honest with one another. 

This is how it usually goes:
Girl 1: I think BobbyJohn likes me. He keeps flirting with me. 
Girl 2: Like how?
Girl 1: He held the door open for me on the way into class.
Girl 2: Oh my GOSH he has a crush on you. Ask him to hang out, and then you all can start dating, oh my gosh you'll be so cute together!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE LOVES YOU!!!!!**

**might be a bit dramatized

But what if it went like this?

Girl 1: I think BobbyJohn likes me. He keeps flirting with me.
Girl 2: Like how?
Girl1: He held the door open for me on the way into class.
Girl 2: That's not flirting, that's being polite. Did he ask you for your number?
Girl 1: No....but he did say he likes numbers.....
Girl 2: Did he ask you to go to dinner or the movies?
Girl 1: No but we talk about movies.
Girl 2: Just give it time. If he likes you, he'll make a move. In the meantime, don't think about it. Let's go watch Lord of the Rings and eat beef jerky!**

**might be influenced by the beef jerky I just randomly ate and my natural love for hobbits

But seriously. I'm ashamed to admit I have been that friend. That friend that thinks one thought along the lines of, "He definitely doesn't like you" but instead my mouth says, "Who knows! Pray about it! You never know what God can do!"

UGH! That's the worst! I even made it all Christian-y. All I'm saying is as friends and women, we should help one another out. And even our guy friends, you know? It's not just a woman thing. I don't know. All I'm saying is, let's stop falling into the trap of convincing ourselves someone thinks we're special. WE ALREADY ARE SPECIAL. Because God created each of us in a different way. And wonderful and funny and unique. And if that adorable guy who longboards to work and reads Tolstoy doesn't think so, then he's probably (DEFINITELY) not the one. So I wouldn't panic. 

I have no idea where this post even came from. Some of it was sparked by a conversation I had with Chanelle the other day about how girls just read into things way too deeply. It was also sparked from a few articles I read and just personal reflection. I'm not saying all girls are crazy. Well actually, girls are crazy. No, PEOPLE are crazy, so that's an entirely different issue. I'm just saying we need to start loving ourselves enough to know that we really are worth God's best and we need to JUST CHILL THE FREAK OUT. Enjoy whatever season you are in RIGHT NOW. Life is so amazing guys. I don't want to waste this time wishing some guy I hardly even know will ask me out, or if there is even a guy out there for me. I just want to each day wake up and thank God that I am breathing and ask the question, "What do you have for me today? What now Lord?" That's how I want to live my life. Because that's the most exciting.



2 comments:

  1. I seem to suffer from this a great deal. The whole over-analysing-he looked at me twice from across the room and now that must certainly mean he's interested--but has yet to talk or even approach me kind of full on crushes that I seem to get. Yikes. Girls are crazy. Or maybe that's just me. But I like what you said. A good dose of reality in our brains is what we sometimes need. I wish more of my friends helped out with this too. So now I am determined to be more aware of how I encourage or "discourage" my friends around me.

    Oh and definitely a romp through Middle Earth is always a dependable cure for crazy-headedness.

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