Thursday, December 29, 2011

i'd like to stay here a little longer

Home is such an interesting place. I basically sum it up in a quote from Juno:

"I never realize how much I like being home unless I've been somewhere really different for a while."

Amen sistah friend! It's so true. This was such a whirlwind trip home, the kind of trip that was more of a taste and just leaves me feeling really grateful but also sad. I haven't had enough of Philadelphia and its gray skies and the smell of Wawa coffee. I haven't had enough of waking up to my mom barging into my room in the morning chattering happily about something, haven't had enough of yelling at my sisters and then cuddling with them five minutes later. Haven't had enough of the hysterical laughter and chaos of my house that holds four crazy women. Home is everything good and real in my heart but I know it's just a place to visit and I think that's why I love it so much.

Me, Christina, Rebecca and my mom on Christmas morning in a pose that is less of who we are (collected, posed, elegant). This is much more close to the dynamic and essence of my family:

 I have no idea what my mom said to make us look like...well like that. But I love it. 

This is probably my favorite:

We look so deceptively calm and collected! BWHA! We cray. 

 I arrived Christmas morning and it has been nonstop ever since. I want to stay so much longer, but at the same time I am so excited for this new year. So much has happened not only this year but specifically these last few months. It's been crazy! I can't wait to head back to Los Angeles. I can't wait to start my new job at PARAMOUNT STUDIOS!!! So exciting! I can't wait to have a car. God has been blessing me left and right and my whole entire life. I'm in awe. 

There is so much happening in my heart!!! Each day God is growing me and changing me. I would just like to stay here a little longer, but I know it's time to head back and get going on this whole life thing. No matter how much I want to just hang out with my friends and family here, I know God has different plans. But can I just say how wonderful it's been to hang with my cat, my family and see my friends?

 The Worrel basement AKA headquarters AKA the greatest place to yell, laugh, be highly vulgar and wonderful. 

 Laura, my dumpling. I didn't get a picture of Mel and Jeane. But I spent time with them too and it was amazing!!!!!!!!! I DON'T WANNA GO YET. 

 Voldemort Kitty. Love ya boy.

Tomorrow I road trip from Philadelphia to Los Angeles with two of my guy friends....ADVENTURE AWAITS! You best believe there's going to be a major blog post in the future on what shenanigans we get ourselves into. Good. Ness. 

I hope everyone had a blessed holiday. For me what I learned most being home is how important loving my family and friends and people is. Life is SO fleeting - I am so thankful this Earth isn't my home. We can't take each day for granted but instead seize each day as a new opportunity, each morning as a breath of the freshest air from God and say, "Lord, what do you have for me today?" Each day I open my eyes and am in the presence of God is enough. We honestly have no idea how long we'll be here. Not to get all deep and stuff, but it's really true. We MUST think about the bigger things in life, the bigger picture -- we must love others, we must have our hearts broken for the things God's heart breaks for. 

We must also know that even if we don't have familial love and perfect community on Earth, that's okay. Because the Creator of the Universe gives us perfect love, a love so unnatural that it can't be from Earth. It heals and cleanses and takes away the darkest loneliness humans feel. And it isn't from Earth. It's a Heavenly love that never ceases to amaze me. That has been so comforting over the Holidays. The Holidays aren't easy....they bring up pain and loss over the years and sometimes they aren't all cheery and warm. I want so desperately for my life to be like It's A Wonderful Life or Love, Actually but obviously that's dumb and not real. Obviously in this world we suffer and experience loss. But remembering the true meaning of Christmas and of life - that a Savior was born to the world...I is SO beautiful. It is healing. I am so grateful for the love of God. I am so grateful to see Christ shine through people. What a miracle. What a gift! 

I'm sure I'l reflect over the year in another blog, but for now I just sit here in awe of the Lord and my prayer is to continually grow closer to Him. Because honestly, bringing glory to His name is all that matters.