Tuesday, March 29, 2011

great roast beef, great.

this post will be a fragmented rambling post of my thoughts and whatnot. here we go.


-When I have a kid and it's their birthday party and they go to blow out all the candles and after like, five minutes they are still struggling I am just gonna let them keep going at it. I'm not gonna help them blow it out behind their back so they think they did it, I'm just gonna watch them struggle--it builds character, right? And if it's like ten minutes later and they look a little faint I'll just pat them on the head and say, "We'll get 'em next time kid."
great roast beef. the peak of my chubby stage right there.
-Home videos are bittersweet. My uncle just droppd off a bunch of home videos and while I love remembering and looking at my younger self, it's also just really sad. 1. Because so much has changed. 2. Because I was a straight up fat kid from ages 9-11. It's embarrassing, slightly endearing, and mostly sad. And as if being chubby wasn't bad enough, my two little sisters are so delicate and blonde and beautiful, and here I come, chubby with short brown hair and thick eyebrows. And then in the one video it's New Years' Eve and we're all eating, and I'm freaking NINE YEARS OLD and I go, "Great roast beef, great!" to the camera all excited--I'm nine and I'm critiquing the food. And my voice is super raspy (it always is) but...like, come on. I am a 90 year old stuck in a 9 year old's body. It doesn't end there. Later when we are all opening presents I get a pair of velour sweatpants and I am not kidding when I say I literally squeal, hold them out and say "Yes I love them! I know they're gonna fit because they're all stretchy and everything!!!!!" Then I cuddle the pants and literally go, "Heeheehee."

............

I'm nine and I'm excited about velour sweatpants because they are stretchy so they will fit me. Hmmm. Watching my younger self, I realize I don't care much. In fact, back then I was so happy and wasn't even aware that I was a little butterball. And I think that's good. I think about how my mom never let me feel anything other than pretty and I realized heck, velour sweatpants were really comfortable anyway.

us ladies for laura's 21st.

-I went to Boston this weekend with six other people to surprise my best friend for her 21st birthday. It was beyond fun--seriously, the best weekend I've had in awhile. Boston is gorgeous, we danced a lot and just laughed a  lot too. It was quite an adventure. On the way home I got to sit next to one of my best guy friends and we got on the subject of religion and my faith. And he started asking really hard, really good questions and I realized how much I love talking about this kind of stuff with people, how deeply in love I am with Jesus. It also put a desire on my heart to just enrich my mind historically and biblically--to learn more about the bible so I can deepen the level of debate/discussion. I don't just want my relationship with God to be emotional or spiritual--I want it to be logical too, which it is, but I want to make sure I know the facts. Nah mean?

-Now 5 is the best Now CD.

little heartbeat. my cat Gizmo before he struggled with obesity.

-I have realized lately that I love little heartbeats. I know writing about this will make me seem extremely girly, but seriously, THEY ARE SO CUTE. You dare to argue? Go pick up a puppy or a cat and feel the little heartbeat and your own heart will melt. Seriously. It's the cutest freaking thing ever. A baby's heartbeat? Double adorbs because they're human and overall I like humans better than animals. But seriously. Little heartbeats. Cutest. Thing. Ever.



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